No regrets, just love.

Hiatus? No more ;)

2012-02-11T02:17:00.000-08:00

OH EM. How have you guys been? How are my blog followers? I can't believe its been two years since I last posted. Haha. I finally got to revive my blogspot. I was seventeen when I last updated, and I'm unbelievably 19 now. See how time flies. :) I'll try to write more often. I missed this!!!:)

2012-02-11T00:50:00.001-08:00

Have you met someone in the most unexpected time & Unexpected place, Having no Idea that you will fall in love with him/her? Yeah. At first, you just ask a simple random question like “Hey, what are you doing?” “What time is it?” and yeah, you see each other as friends, without any intention of being together but as time goes by you build feelings for each other, special feelings that can make it last a lifetime. Those relationships when you don’t expect that you’ll fall inlove with each other. And I think I've finally met that someone ; It’s funny how can this one person make me happy, without even doing anything. Just talking to him makes my day complete, I couldn’t even go a day without telling him that I love him. We play like little kids, We act like best friends but we love each other like husband and wife. ♥

2010-07-07T20:52:00.000-07:00

I'll probably be on HIATUS for awhile.. So busy and stressed out with school. Reviewing for quizzes and recitations. Haaay, stressed much! Prelims next week! Oh no :|

2010-06-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

Had a very long week in school. I am so frikken stressed out and shit. And so I wonder... Why I still can't get you off my mind. It sucks, and it still hurts.

Q: How do you move on? ....

After a while.. You get sick of caring and you're too hurt to fight. Sometimes, no matter what you do, things won't be alright. Its not easy to state a reason why you fall out of love. Some might think its just an excuse, some might not actually believe. Some will blame you, some might even be mad at you.

A: You move on when your heart finally understands that there's no turning back.

- Erin Macnamara 06-25-10 10:10pm

2010-06-20T06:38:00.001-07:00

I wanted everything to stay the same but feelings fade and people change. I'm better off alone. I never really wanted to admit it. You tell me everything, I want to believe you. I want to believe everything you say, cause it sounds so convincing, but how am I suppose to believe your words, when your actions are totally different? In fact, they are the exact opposite of what you're saying. If you wanted me, you could've had me, but seriously, I don't want to be second best anymore. For a second there, I actually thought I moved up a spot. Then I realized how temporary I really am to you. If this is how it is, I don't need you in my life then. You want me to understand, but no, you NEED to understand. Understand, I'm a girl, doing this was already a very big step for me. Understand, I'm a happy person, lately you're just putting me down. I'm sorry to say all this, cause I'm not strong enough to say it to your face, but, I AM WORTH IT. You just couldn't see that because you're too busy getting another girl's attention slash flirting with another girl. But I did what I could, it wasn't good enough for you. Then again, I'm nothing to you. And I am so fucking stupid for even putting this much effort into something I was never sure of. We were nothing.

- Erin Macnamara 06-20-2010 9:47pm

2010-06-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

"Once you let them go, you don't have control over them anymore.."

I'm lying to myself. I give myself false hope && false expectations that never match up to reality. I twist circumstances around in my mind to make them seem better than they actually are. I think too much about the smallest, most insignificant gestures and blow them up like balloons and float around in this euphoric bubble of what could be and what I want to happen, and am always so let down by what I'm left with, an almost, could-be, maybe situation. I think too much into an accidental hand brushing and prolonged eye contact. I tell myself that it can still happen, and I cling to the tiniest little glimmers of hope, even though I know that there's a little itch I can't scratch that tells me that I'm wrong, and that I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, where happy endings really do exist, and the boy and the girl always do end up together. I'm tricking myself into thinking that we're perfect for each other, when in reality, we may as well be strangers.

"Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard. Like when you fall in love with someone, but they forget to love you back."

- Erin Macnamara 06-19-2010 12:47am

2010-06-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

It seems when you want someone, they don’t want you; when someone wants you, you don’t want them. And when you both want each other, something or someone has to come around and mess it up.

2010-06-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sure, I talk to other guys but I don't talk to them like the way I talk to you. Sure, those other guys can make me smile but not make me smile as much as you do. Sure, they can make me laugh but not make me laugh like the way you do. Yeah, there's a lot of guys out there, but listen, none of them can compare to you. Those other guys can holla and whatever, but my eyes and heart are set on you. And when I'm with you my heart sighed. The sigh radiated from the hole in my chest, from that place that had never seen light, from that place that had taken all of my joy and given me only loneliness. "There you are," I said, "you don't know how long I have been waiting for you." =)

Happy birthday :)

- Erin Macnamara 06-15-2010 11:03am

2010-06-11T03:19:00.000-07:00

Thinking of cutting my hair like that, but 2inches longer I guess., and have it straight. Would it look good on me? What do you think? :)

I still have a month to think about it :>

2010-06-11T03:05:00.001-07:00

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here til the moment I'm gone. You hold me without touch. You keep without chains. I never wanted anything so much, than to drown in your love and not feel your rain. ..... I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity. :|

"Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with."

- Erin Macnamara 06-11-2010 6:22pm
pic grabbed from Tumblr

2010-06-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.

2010-06-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

"Wala naman talagang REBOUND/Panakip-butas sa mundo eh. Nagkataon lang na andyan ka nung panahong nawalan siya."

2010-06-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

BOYS become MEN when they:

- Follow you when you walk out.

- Call you back when you hang up.

- Hug you when you punch them.

- Watch chick-flics with you.

- Tolerate your crying over love stories.

- Hand you the remote.

- Pass on booze nights just to listen to your ranting.

- Don't flare you when you give car directions.

- Says I'm sorry and tells you he needs you.

2010-06-09T02:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I'm sad, nothing can really bring me back up right away. Not words, not good advice, or even the people around me trying to make me happy can't make me happy just like that. You should never tell someone just to be happy and forget about whats holding them down because you are not dealing with the pain in their heart. It takes time and patience for someone to get back up. It's not that easy. So please, wag kayong magalit sakin if I'm full of drama for the past few days. You should understand what I'm going through. Just like how my best friend (Noreen) understands me. But yeah, don't worry.. I'm keeping my heart. I'm gonna be strong and I won't fall apart. I'll be on my way and it's gonna take time, but eventually, I'll be okay.. Ok?

2010-06-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

" En enn ennn. :) i can open your blogspot in my laptop, yey! i dont know what to say, im speechless and at the same time touched with what you wrote on your blog. and finally you listened to my advices, thank GOD! :) well im glad that you fell a bit better now coz you dont deserve to get hurt. especially if its not even worth your tears. basta "time and space"-->yan muna for now. and pls give yourself a break okay? you have given so much thats why it hurts so bad. i hope you learned something now, and please use your time wisely. use it by loving yourself first before you love someone again or in the future. :p and if ever youll fall in love again wag 100% ang ibibigay mo, kase you cant expect naman na he could give you the same or that he will treat you the way you did, give and take ha? magtira ka naman para sa sarili mo, lol! and wag puro puso gamitin dear, gamitin mo din utak mo. just always remember this. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". i know your a strong girl, kaya dont let other people hurt you or even bring you down. and dont make decisions based on what other people say or just to satisfy what they want, ur a smart girl to decide for yourself. your pretty and all kaya you deserve a lot and someone better! im always here for you, kaya nga bestfriend db? fix your life na and stop crying, hehe.. i miss and love you bitch! *hug hug, take care always-moi♥

PS: omg, its kinda long! lets stop the drama bitch. this is US! hahaha.."

This message made me cryyy. Awwww! So sweet ♥

2010-06-08T04:33:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture I wanna share. It's from the shoot I did last week. I still don't have copies of the other pics, but I'll keep you guys posted as soon as I have them. This photo was taken by Eric Galang. He is such a great photographer. He's funny and all so you won't be bored when you get to work with him. :)

Anyhoo, how do you like my new BG music? It's Justin Bieber's "Overboard". I can so relate to the song that I can't stop listening to it anymore. :)

- Erin Macnamara 06-08-2010 7:42pm

2010-06-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

Hellooo to my readers :) I feel a bit better now.. So yeah, I'm here again posting another blog. ^___^

I would like you guys to meet my best friend, Noreen. So anyways, we call her Moi or MoiMoi. She has always been there for me through thick and thin. Ups & downs. Good times and bad times. And I love her for that. Tulad nalang ngayon.. Pag kailangan ko ng advices and someone to talk to and tell all my drama's, kahit alam kong nakakasawa na kasi paulit-ulit nalang.. She's there.. Always. Comforting me. And making me feel that I'm not alone.

Every single bit of her advices really helps. Kahit nga, makinig lang siya sa lahat ng kadramahan ko, sobrang nakakatulong na talaga.

Recently, every night before I sleep, I text her with my drama like "Anong gagawin ko" Blahblah's, and she always finds time to reply, to make me feel better, to comfort me. When I wake up in the morning, I text her with the same old shit, she still replies.. Sobrang dami na namin napagdaanan. I'll name one: Yung time na inaway ko siya over a guy. Heehee. Pero eto, she's still here. We're still tight. Mapa-drama, away, trip, we're still together. Especially pag may kaaway, lagi siyang andyan, with matching "PANLA-LAIT" hahaha! But actually we're not making "LAIT" naman, we're just describing. Right, Moi? :) I love you! Thank you so much for everythiiiing and for not getting tired of my drama ♥ Makakabawi rin ako sayo! ;)

- Erin Macnamara 06-08-2010 1:52pm

2010-06-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Should I blame love for making me think about that person everyday? Or should I blame that person for making me feel this way?

I'm so tired of getting hurt over and over again. And I am stupid when it comes to love. As long as I see myself happy, go lang. Kahit masakit na. Kahit hindi na tama, go pa din. Palagi nalang akong nasasabihan ng "bakit ka nagpapakatanga sakanya?". I am in major pain right now. I sound gay, I know :| Ganito pala pag unexpected lahat. Kasi seryoso, I didn't expect this. Din't really expect I'd fall in love with him. I never saw this coming. I swear. Pero for now siguro, makikinig muna ako sa bestfriend ko. Kahit ngayon lang.. She's right.. I need to rest. I need time and space.. Hindi dapat palagi ako yung umiintindi. I can't say I'm better off without him, cause I'm not! FML. Pero what can I do? Wala akong choice. Kelangan kong panindigan lahat to. At ano ba naman, nasa school nga ako kanina. Yung isip ko naman lumilipad. GAAAAH -____- Help meee, I want my heart to stop breaking! :(

"Kahit gaano pa kayo katagal mawala sa isa't isa, kung kayo, kayo talaga." - Ate Jez.

- Erin Macnamara 06-07-2010 11:28pm

2010-06-06T02:53:00.001-07:00

Rule #5 (rules before going to college) : Don't get your heart broken before the first day of class.

I just did. I got my heart broken. How cool is that?

Today I spent 3hours in the shower thinking and crying my heart out. I never thought those crying-in-the-shower scene on TV drama's would happen in reality, or in other words, would happen to me since I never really took my past relationships that seriously.

Deleted him on Facebook. Am I being bitter? I guess not. I just want him out of my life for awhile.. Yeah, just for awhile.. Maybe a week? A month? A year? Depends, alam ko naman na hindi ko rin siya kayang tiisin. I just wanna think. And I wanna realize things.. Things that he's trying to say. That I deserve someone better. Or vice versa, make him realize my worth when I'm gone.

Love makes you so vulnerable that it opens up your chest and opens up you heart so someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor. You protect yourself so nothing can hurt you. Then one guy, that is so not different with any other guy, wonders into your life. You give him a piece of you. He'll stare at you, smile at you then kiss you. And then your life isn't your own anymore.. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you and leaves you crying. A simple phrase like "maybe we should just be fiends" would turn into a glass splinter working its way into your fragile heart. It hurts. Not just an imaginary hurt. It's a soul-hurt. A real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I miss him. I miss how he cared for me, how he always makes my day, how he used to cheer me up, and how he makes me feel that he loves me. I miss everything that used to be.

I hate this feeling! :( School starts tomorrow and I'm so messed up. Goodluck.

- Erin Macnamara 06-06-2010 8:00pm

2010-06-05T04:14:00.001-07:00

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me". =)

BTS.

2010-06-05T01:51:00.000-07:00

Behind the scene: June 03 shoot.

Did you know I had to climb that tree, too? Yeah, with heels and all. Haha! Wait for the official pics :)

Photographers: Jan Bondoc, Eric Galang, and Louie Pineda.

2010-06-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

Okay so my layout's new again. It's pink and yeah it's girly. It's more simple than my recent layout.

So anyways.. I've realized... That... Sometimes, it's easier to pretend, to not confront reality, and to hide your feelings. It's better than letting sadness and the feeling of disappointment consume you and take control of you and your actions. It's less exhausting that way. It's better to say and act like everything's alright than to have to explain yourself and face the fact that things aren't what you want them to be as of the moment. It's not that you're lying to yourself. It's just that you'd rather not tell the truth. You hug him goodbye like it's nothing, while all you want to do is hold on forever, but you let go, smile and walk away. Then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same because try as you might, you can't make someone love you the way you want to be loved. Sometimes, you have to let them be free. And letting go? That's when love hurts most of all :(

- Erin Macnamara 06-05-2010 ; 1:36pm

2010-06-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

My layout got fucked up so I'm using this blogger template for the mean time since I'm too lazy to fix it! And I'm blaming Chi for this. If it wasn't because of the comment per post thingy, my layout wouldn't get messed up! /:) HAHA but I still love her! :) How stupid of me for not saving a copy of my layout codes. :|

- Erin Macnamara 06-05-2010 ; 11:43am

2010-06-03T22:26:00.000-07:00

"lets just give this time. if ever magiging tyo i want it to last. make sure it does. yung ganon. lets be friends muna. i'll always be here watching your back naman."

Panindigan sana ang sinabi.

And suddenly I realized... Na tama sya, that maybe we should give this time. Its better not to rush things. Especially when you want a relationship to last. =)

- Erin Macnamara (06-04-2010 1:34pm)

TANGA.

2010-06-03T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ilan beses ko na sinusuksok sa utak ko na "madaming iba dyan". Pero dana, oo nga, sobrang daming iba. Pero kahit anong gawin ko, kahit ipilit ko, wala e. Sya talaga :(

"Don’t let anyone make you think you don’t deserve what you want."

♥ ♥ ♥ Erin Macnamara * 6-04-2010 ; 12:32pm

Ayaw kong masanay sa mga bagay na alam kong kaya ko namang wala sa buhay ko.

2010-06-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

"Masarap mag mahal pag mas mahal ka ng taong minamahal mo."

-Yan motto ng mga taong siniswerte sa pag-ibig na nagmamahal at nasusuklian ng tama yung pagmamahal nila sa isang tao. That sadly, I didnt get. I think?

Hindi ko na alam kung ano ba talaga. Come and go kasi. And feeling ko pinapaasa lang ako na ayaw na ayaw kong ginagawa sakin. I've always been telling myself na "ayaw ko na", pero hindi ko mapanindigan. I just love him so much and its really hard for me to let go. I really needed someone to talk to, buti nalang gising pa si Mommy Jho. (nanay-nanayan ko since my elementary days in LMSI) I asked for advices because I know nang-galing na sya sa ganitong situation. Actually, nangyari na rin sakanya before when she was in HS so I guess I should trust her with all the advices she gave me.

"You are young and beautiful. Madami pang dadating na seryoso sayo. Ittreat ka na daig pa sa prinsesa. Pag nag mahal ka, 60% sayo 40% sakanya, wag mo ibuhos lahat para di ka masyado masaktan. Ang ganda ganda moh noh! Pwede ba!" - mommy jho.

"AYOKO NA" ; Parang ang daling pakinggan diba? Pero ang hirap hirap gawin. Its like sinasaktan ko lang sarili ko if I try to stop myself from loving him. Pag ako yung lumalayo, ako yung nasasaktan. Altough sobrang gulong gulo talaga isip ko if I should stop nalang because I feel na nagmumukha akong tanga na umaasa sa wala. Or Go lang, dahil yun nararamdaman ng puso ko. :(

Dami kong tanong na hindi ko matanong dahil natatakot ako sa magiging sagot. ANO BAAAAAA. Bakit pa kasi nauso ang love.

"The truth is, I can live without you. I just dont want to."

♥ ♥ ♥ Erin Macnamara *6-2-2010 4:29am

yeah im that girl.

2010-05-30T17:46:00.001-07:00

im the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen. im the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers. im the girl who wouldnt make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy. im the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant. im the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. im the girl who wont make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead. im the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of. im the girl who would give the world to see you smile. im the girl who cries herself to sleep at night thinking of you, when i know im the last thing on your mind...

FUUUU!

2010-05-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

you fuckin ruined my day! wag mag maganda pls! and stop talking shit about me because all you're saying is BULLSHIT!

emo ako pls?

2010-05-24T06:47:00.001-07:00

minsan parang mas gusto kong mamatay nalang. :)

mas ok pa diba? parang ang hirap pag sabay sabay problema.

SHOOT ME.

stop bein an anon when you're too obvious.

2010-05-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

ang sakit pala pag nalaman mong friend mo yung hater mo sa formspring noh? i mean, not just a friend eh.. close friend. childhood friend. sister. lahat na. alam mo yung ganun feeling? hindi masakit yung mga sinabi nya, masakit yung malaman mong ginaganun ka nya porke hindi mo sya makikilala dahil sa putanginang "ask anonymously" na yan. sana sinabi nalang nya straight to my face, kasi its better kung ganun at ganun naman talaga ung ginagawa namin ng buong barkada. pag may sasabihin kahit gaano pa kasakit or kung ano mang term yun, sasabihin harap-harapan. atleast naman kasi hindi plastikan diba? wow lang eh. sobrang, napa-what the fuck ako. im very very disappointed. tama si mycah, maybe she's "inggit".. haynako, grow up! 19yrs old ka na! like srsly.

2010-05-15T21:45:00.001-07:00

"EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY IN THE END. IF ITS NOT OKAY, THEN ITS NOT THE END."

totoo pala talaga yan :)

FTT day.

2010-05-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

had last taping today for First Time. 7am-5pm. sobrang tiring :| pero everything's worth it. had so much fun with maxine & sofia. ang sarap lang asarin ni sofia at ian during break eh, they look so cute together! syempre sobrang awkward din ng moment because andun si jhake and all. di nagpapansinan as usual, tinginan lang.. pero after taping we were at the lobby of the shooting location, before leaving we took pics and all then bigla akong tinawag ng daddy ni jhake.. and as usual, sobrang kwentuhan to the max na naman kami ni tito. sobrang tagal namin di nagkita so sobrang dami namin napagkwentuhan. isa na rin dun ung past.. natuwa ako sa mga sinabi nya, at medyo na-teary eye at the same time.. he even said na hanga sya sakin dahil.... haha secret nalang yun. sakin nalang yun. :) tapos bigla dumating sundo ko, my mom.. my mom & jhake's dad talked.. then suddenly biglang dumating si jhake.. he touched my hand and said "ui.", ako smile lang. I introduced him to my mom. medyo gumaan pakiramdam ko dahil sa mga sinabi ng daddy ni jhake. he's the best talaga ever! I can't wait to see him again soon. and hopefully, on another taping. :)

just because I don't scream my feelings, means I have none.

2010-05-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

I wonder why alot of ppl can't let go of my past.. I mean, I still get issues about Jhake, and it's quite annoying sometimes. okay hindi ko nalang mamasamain lahat ng mga bullshit about Jhake & I on my formspring. I'll just think that the reason why ppl hold on to memories so tight is because memories are the only thing that won't change even when everything else does. haha! think positive ba. pero nakakainis lang talaga kasi diba guys, matagal na yun eh? pareho kaming may sariling buhay and we've both moved on from the past. I'm happy. he's happy. let's put aside the things that aren't supposed to be talked about anymore. correct me if I'm wrong.

today was a fairytale. [8]

2010-05-12T07:15:00.000-07:00

my mum is such a day ruiner!! I just hate her like hellll. lagi nalang mali ginagawa ko eh, lahat ng mali nakikita nya pero pag tama hindi nya nakikita. ayos diba? kung pwede lang makipagpalit ng nanay eh diba? haha pero joke lang, she's still my mom and tho I always say I hate her, I still love her. and lagi naman nandyan si (insertnamehere) to make me smile. :) if my mom wasn't a day ruiner, for sure araw-araw kumpleto ang araw ko dahil kay (insertnamehere). haha. he never fails to make me smile. haynako, siguro kung game lang namin yung "kung sinong unang mainlove, talo" for sure, tagal ko ng talo! LOL. ikaw ba naman, sabihan ng kung ano anong sweet na salita eh. haha. pero I just hope this is for real now.. I mean, I wish things would work out wayyy better than my past relationships.. kasi I swear, this time I wanna be super serious. :D

anyways, I'm back in Manila. I missed my room so much. oooh and I cleaned my room today! oh and changed my bed sheets for the very first time! haha. hassle pero I think I needed to learn that kasi when school starts sa apartment wala kaming maid so dapat matuto ako maging independent kasi kami lang ng friend ko nandun. tinapon ko lahat ng mga gamit na hindi ko na kailangan, saw some old highschool stuff in my drawers ; mga projects ko before, ang tataas ng grades eh, 87 was the lowest and 93 was the highest. haha! I was trying to find my black nike baller kenneth gave me when we were in senior high, kaso hindi ko na mahanap. yun talaga yung reason kung bakit ako sinipag maglinis. hahaha! gusto ko ng madaming baller. :D

anyways, I have to go now.. chattin' with my bestfriend, noreen on Y!M. she's kinda annoying me. haha. joke. incase you read this Moi, iloveyou! eww. ♥

you've got a face for a smile you know

2010-05-11T23:33:00.000-07:00

there comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
this is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me, or walk away! do NOT try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

Where is he? ♥

2010-05-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

I want a boy who will tell me when I'm being stupid. Who won't baby me with his words. A boy who will still give time to his friends. A boy who will tell me "No". He will watch stupid movies with me, but makes me watch his favorites also. A boy who's willing to drop everything to be with me, but knows when to let it be. A boy who will know he's important to me, but won't mind when I change my plans to help someone out. I want a boy who's enjoyable to look at, he doesn't have to be gorgeous. I just want someone who I can pay attention to. A boy who will randomly bring me food, cause he knows I love to eat. A boy who can make jokes about me, a boy that I can laugh with. Someone who wont mind when I even embarrass myself. A boy who will buy me something, something I would actually want, none of that jewelry crap. Someone who doesn't do everything I ask but when it comes to something important I can count on him to be there. Someone who I don't feel threatened by. A boy who has other friends that are girls, but I can trust him with them. A boy who will know when to leave me alone when I have my stupid fits. A boy who I can just sit with. I don’t need the whole fairytale deal; I just want to feel comfortable.

2009-12-25T03:08:00.000-08:00

last wednesday i went to olongapo. reason? pinapunta ko ng friends ko. haha well actually super tagal na namin plano yun eh. hindi lang ako natutuloy lagi due to sched problems :)) so anyways.. ayun nga. when i got there, quincy & diane picked me up. then we went to diane's place to change then simbang gabi @ st. jo w/ dennis. lol. then after that i took them to mcdo and there we ate dinner then went to night market. grabe, super crowded! ganun pala dun. haha. pero ang fun! there's carnival pa. we rode "taga disco" it was hella crazyyy! i thought i was gonna die. haha! seriously! nakakatakot talaga kelangan mo talaga kumapit ng mahigpit or else titilapon ka! hahaha! then yun.. pauwi na kami dennis got a text message from jake, andun daw sila sa night market. haha! ang weird lang. =)) anyways, after night market we went to ate dessa's place. nag shot. and damn, i got drunk and i was so funny daw! :( they took a video and won't show it to me! sobrang unfair :(( haha! and scared at the same time kasi baka makita ni... lol :)) well i'm sure nakita nia na yun. so yeah, nakakahiya talaga un. LOL! i don't wanna make kwento the whole thing that happened kasi nakakahiya talaga! hahaha! kung ano ano sinasabi ko. (incase pinakita sayo ni king yung video, grabe, i swear i didn't know what i was saying! kaya it doesn't mean anything ha! hahaha!). =)) around 3am na daw kami natulog eh. then woke up around 8am or 9? natatawa sakin si ate dessa. haha! amp :)) so yun, around 10am we went back to diane's house to take a shower and eat. around 1pm we went to ****'s house, hinintay lang namin sila sa labas.. and when he was walking towards us.. grabe the smile! so big! :"> haha! may ganun? lol. :)) ayun, we rode a jeep. and wow, jeep #14.. i wonder what that means? y'all probably know kung ano yung 14 sa buhay ko. HAHA. but anyways.. ayun. not full details. kasi secret na talaga yung iba. haha! but i had super fun during my stay there and will definitely go back soon <3

anyways, it's christmas! and i don't really feel the christmas spirit. haha. it's noisy here though. there's a party thats happening at our house pero di ako nakikisali. nakakatamad. haha! jk. merry christmas everyone! ^^

PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR.

2009-12-18T23:56:00.001-08:00

Haha, went out lastnight. After sooo long. Kagabi lang ako lumabas ulit, like clubbin ganun. (Kasi good girl na ako. HAHA) I had fun naman, yeahh kahit 3 lang kami. (Karen, Me & Aira). Tapos medyo konti lang yung tao. Pero okay naman. Haha. Tapos narealize ko crush ko si... HAHA. Andun sila eh. With his friends. Pfft. Gulat nga kami eh. Pero anyways, crush lang naman ^^ Bata pa yata un eh? Saka ASA PA DUDE. Haha high standards ata un pag dating sa babae. :))

NOT JUST A WANT, BUT A NEED.

2009-12-10T03:57:00.000-08:00

And so I died! :( HAHA. OMG, I fell inlove when I saw this. Shizzzz. Costs P3750. So expensive! But who cares! I still want it! More like, NEED!!! Haha. AAAHHH. -.- I have to get this ASAP. Orrrr, if you, YES YOU, :D are kind enough to give it to me as a christmas gift then why not?! I'll marry you! Hahaha. :))

I got bored.

2009-12-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

I had time to fix my layout. HA. Actually, I always have the time, cos I'm always online! LOL. It's just that I was so bored. Mika wasn't online so I didn't have someone to make chika with. LOL. I think she's somewhere... I dunno, parang nabasa ko yata kanina na may lakad sya. HAHA. :D Miss you already Mika! Wow I'm so sweet to you ha! Haha :))

May nabalitaan ako.. Hmmm. Pero I'll make kwento nalang next time!

So yeaaaah, how do you like my new layout? Which is better? This one or the first one? :D Reply on the tagboard! :D

There's so much time to figure out the best of my life.

2009-12-09T04:00:00.001-08:00

You told me you were so grateful I was with you and I was so faithful. Stood by in all that you said and all that you did. I loved you. I don't know how to act or what to say, but I know I am good, I'll be okay.

Cold christmas.

2009-12-07T04:06:00.000-08:00

18days to go before XMAS! Awwwwe, didn't go christmas shopping yet. I think I'm having a christmas shopping rush this year. HAHA. I have to buy gifts for my "ina-anak(s)".. Haha. ^^ I'm still not sure where I'm celebrating it though.. But, if possible, I wanna celebrate in AC as well as for New Year's. :D

12709

2009-12-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Y'all prolly know bout what happened to me and... Do I have to mention his name? Haha. And ppl have been asking me if I'm okay or how does it feel to find out that your boyfriend was dating another girl.. So here's my answer..
Yes, I'm okay. And I've been laughing about what happened. Cause seriously, he made the wrong choice. He chose the wrong girl. What's funny with that? His fans doesn't like the new girl. And I definitely don't like the new girl either. She's not pretty, she's just white. And seriously, I wish he picked a girl who was way better than me. "Mas mataas ang level" ika nga nila. But nooo, what's wrong with him. Haha. It's not my lost! Obviously.
As for the second question.. How does it feel? Hmmmmm.. Honestly, ofcourse at first it hurts.. But when I realized that it was his lost.. HAHA, I kept laughing bout it. :P Kasi nakakatawa naman talaga.

I've seen album && pic comments on his facebook account, haha it's so funny kasi yung mga comments dun super lait sila with his new girl and they kept saying that I was waaaay better than that girl. Haha. And my reaction was like ... "OMG, I know right?" haha I'm supposed to be humble but with this situation, I can't. LOL. And nakakatawa lalo nung sinabi na mukha silang mag-ate or mag-tita. Haha. He actually looked really sad sa pics. Haha. No spark! No chemistry! No sweetness! IS HE HAPPY W/ HER?!! Obviously, no. HAHA.

Tapos may hinala pa ako na hindi siya ung nag upload nung pics and nag update ng rel stat & info sa fb niya. Eh kasi naman, pano makakapag-online, may SOP siya nung day na yun and their call time was 8am. How did that happen? Haha. Sabi nung gumagamit nung account, fone daw gamit. Edi kung fone, pano niya nakuha pics? And dapat nung inupload yun, nakalagay "mobile uploads" or "via phone". Diba? Haha. And nakakapagtaka, pag negative comments binubura. Haha! Well actually akala ko ako lang yung naghihinala. Haha, meron pa palang iba.. Nagegets niyo na siguro kung gano kadesperate si YAYA. Nakekelam pa ng facebook! :))

So yeaaa guys, don't worry bout me cause CHILL lang ako dito. Laughtrip all the way! Let's leave him alone muna. Malay niyo bumalik pag nauntog diba? Haha!

2009-12-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

I've been really stressed out lately. I need a break. I need a nighout! Girlfriends, where are you when I need you?! Haha. And finally I'm starting a new chapter of my life again.. Sad. But have to face the reality. Duh, I'm not like those bitter ex's he had. :)) Goodluck to him and his new girl. HA. He had the world, but he had the guts to let it go. Oh well, not my problem. He'll realize what he`s lost some day. :P

Why is everything so complicated :s

2009-11-22T21:46:00.000-08:00

I've been seeing alot of stuff on Facebook. Ppl making issues and stuff.

I got this advice from a random online friend, "blang isang gf nang sikat na young actor hmm wag u magpa affected...ahmm quiet ka lang kasi wala silang magagawa eh.. mahal ka ni jhake mahal mo sia.."

I just hate how ppl enjoy making issues. I mean, hello??! Why do they even bother messing with mine! I aint doin nothing wrong! Please just leave me alone! I'm so fed up already! Leave US alone!

Anorexic na?

2009-11-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

Gaaah. My mum has been forcing me to eat and eat and eat today. I hate it! She said I'm losing weight waaay too much now and if I loose more weight, I'll look like a skeleton na. Haha. This morning, when I woke up.. She was like "Oh akyat ka na sa taas, kumain ka na.", so yeah went upstairs and saw what was ready for breakfast, 3pcs of hotdogs & rice! And I was like "Bakit kanin?! You know I don't eat rice for breakfast!", and she said I had to eat and finish what she prepared or else.. I'd die. Nooo, I'm kidding. Haha! But seriously maaan, 3pcs of hotdogs & rice is way too much! Okay so I had my breakfast and ofcourse, didn't eat anything for lunch anymore kasi parang lunch time na rin yun. Haha. So yun, in the afternoon, I had a nap.. Woke up at around 4:30 i guess.. And poof, my mum demanded me to eat meryenda. But I said I didn't want to. But nooo, she forced me and gave me a threat!! She said if I don't eat, I'm not allowed to use my laptop. Haha! What a threat! So syempre, I ate nalang. Instead of not being able to go online naman diba!? :)) So there.. Next was dinner time.. She was calling me na for dinner and I said I didn't want to. She was like "Bakit?!" and syempre I answered "Eh syempre kanina pinilit mo na ako kumain. Sabi ko sayo ayaw ko mag meryenda eh. Busog tuloy ako.".. Haha. And as usual, she told me that I'm getting too thin na. Tapos naman, pag kain ako ng kain.. Pinapagalitan ako. Haha! Hay nako, just leave me alone, Mom! :))

But anyways, movin on.. I have something to share to you guys.. ^^,

If you're thinking of what to give me for Christmas.. Ito nalang. Haha. I saw these on the Forumshop.. It's an online shopping thingy.

These pair of boots are sold for 1800PHP @ The Forumshop!

These are sold for 2150PHP @ The Forumshop! :DD

And these for.. I don't know. Haha. The price wasn't written there. Haha.

Well, you don't actually have to buy me the exact product, I just want something like that. Haha. Just for you to have an idea. But it would be really cool if you buy the same exact product for me. :)) Haha you know how much I'm in love with shoes! Sooo pretty please?? Haha!

Xoxo

HATERS ON THE LOOSE.

2009-11-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

Funny how people become so pathetic because of someone. Haha. Like, wtf?! Why don't they mind their own lives. Nagpapaka-pathetic na sila dahil kay Jake. There's this "RIOT" on one of the videos of Jake sa YouTube na. And someone made a FAKE account of Jake there and replied sa video asking Mika to shut up and said she was plastic, haha. I don't think Jake would say such thing coz he knows Mika personally and they were talking palang lastnight! Haha. It's sooo funny talaga! Especially when someone said this: "HAHA lahat ng tao d2 puro sipsip kay ERIN yabang naman nya barbero pa di nga sya kilala ng parents ni jhake eh... LOL! yabang... ayaw sya pakilala ni jhake kc arte nya.". It's sooo funny how they make up stories! Haha. Hindi daw ako kilala ng parents ni Jake. That's sooo stupid of them to say! Haha. I can't believe how these people get so lame coz they can't accept the reality. I feel so sorry for them! Haha! Jesus bless these people. LMAO. :)) I can't get over it, can't help but laugh! Hahaha! Xoxo

h i n t a y a n.

2009-11-13T02:38:00.000-08:00

So I was freaking out already. Kasi hindi niya ako kinakausap. Yun pala, he was just waiting na ako ung unang kumausap sakaniya. Like duh? Parang ang unfair naman diba, kung ako yung unang kakausap and all? Kasi parang.. It's like parang ako yung guy. LOL. Tss. Guys nowadays, ang hilig mang-baliktad. Gusto nila sila yung sinusuyo and all.. Tsk! Anyways, he went OL on YM. I was in total shock when I saw his status.. It says "I don't want her anymore. I want ~~(anonymus)~~".. So yeah, that's when I started being paranoid. But then, my friend had a chat with him.. He said na kaya niya daw nilagay un, kase daw hindi ko daw siya kinakausap. And in my part, parang I got a bit inis and natawa at the same time 'cause you know.. Atleast he's trying to make a way na kausapin ko siya in a way na dapat pagselosin niya pa ako. But still, I don't find it really sweet. Pero sabi ng iba sweet daw. Haha eh kasi nakakapikon naman yung ganun diba. So ayun, tinanong bakit daw di ako kinakausap.. He was like, "hindi niya kasi ako kinakausap eh." Nakakatawa lang, kasi ni-isa samin dalawa walang gustong mauna mag PM. Well yeah, nakakatawa na nakakainis. Haha. Pero basta. Tas yun sabi kausapin na daw ako.. Sabi naman niya pag okay nalang daw. Eh siya lang naman kasi yung parang ewan na ano eh, haha haynako! Talaga naman! :)) May nalalaman pa siyang "Ge na ako na bahala ^^". Sus. HAHA. Ihh. Kakatawa talaga eh. Na nakakakilig kase ewan ko kung bakit. LOL. I just felt like writing a blog entry bout this. Haha. Nakakatawa eh. Sabi nga ng friend ko, parang tanga kami pareho. LOL. Goodmornight! Xoxo

Christmas is in the air.

2009-11-12T17:45:00.000-08:00

Had my afternoon nap and woke up with the question "How many days is it before x-mas?" Haha. Dude, seriously.. I'm very very excited for Christmas '09, i don't really know why but.. Yeah. Haha. I'm excited for New Year's too! And then.. February, my birthday! Haha. So anyways.. Let me share to you what I want for Christmas.. Yay! :D

Well, first.. I want a new cellphone. I mean, I need a new cellphone! I miss my old phone.

Dami messages dun na nakaka- :"> eh. Hahaha! I didn't believe at first that i can survive without a phone, but heyy, proved myself wrong. I can survive pala. But it's hard! Haha I'm "phone-less" for a week already. How's that?! I can't even text my friends.. Or text.. Hmmm. You know who. LOL. So yeah, a cellphone is #1 on my list! I just can't decide what to get yet! Help?!

iPhone 3G - hindi ko alam kung bakit ang mahal nito dito sa Pinas! Haha. Sa ibang bansa kasi, lower ata ung price ng kalahati! Swear! :))

Nokia E71. instead of buying a Blackberry, ito nalang. Blackberry's are so damn expensive! Haha.

So what do you think? What should I get? Help me decide! XD

Second on my list is a new Digi Cam.

Sony CyberShot DSC-T2 Pink. isn't it cute?! :D Although alam ko hindi ako bibilhan ng mommy ko. She can't put back her trust on me sa mga gadgets na eh. Coz first, I lost my 4months old Nikon digi cam way back 2008. Then my N70 phone. Then my PSP. Haha. So yeah. If I want a new cam, maybe I should save some cash. :( Hindi ako pa naman marunong mag-ipon! Tsk :(

And last but not the least..
Money!! Haha! Money to buy myself new clothes && shoes. I seriously need to go shopping.. Like, shopping with my own money. Not my mom's. LOL. Kasi minsan pag gamit ko money ng mom ko, minsan yung style ko hindi niya gusto.. Hindi kami magkasundo minsan. Haha. Eh syempre, siya masusunod. Pera nya un eh. =))

ARE YOU EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS, TOO? :P
Xoxo

Over again.

2009-11-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

Alright, so finally i opened this blog shit again. Haha. I'm gonna start blogging again! Like seriously.. I should stay active. I think I need this. Haha. I was actually thinking if I should use this or another blogging thingy called Thumblr. But yeaah, I chose this. Haha. I was tryna open my past blog accounts but I can't. So yeah, I ended up with this. I just deleted all the past blog entries I had here. Made my layout and all. And finally, I'm done! It took me hours fixing this shit. Haha. Anyways, Imma be back with some stories soon. Or prolly later? Haha. Toodles! XOXO